I have spent the evening organising Christmas.  Sister and family are visiting for 10 days from New Zealand and I have started to plan the itinerary.  So, one extremely important task is complete; the organisation of a two family best friend lunch - 3 generations, 11 grandchildren, 6 children, 4 spouses and 3 grandparents.  One of the grandparents died this summer and I feel incredibly sad that she will miss the party.  How will we manage without her?  I want her to be giving the party, not me.